Tag Archives: insanity

hate love

23 Apr

I hate that I love you
I hate that I care
I hate that I’m here
I hate that you hurt me
not only do I let you
but I pretend it never hurt
and I hate that you never said sorry
I hate your disease
and I hate mine

food

31 May

Well I’ve spent most of my life pointing out the fact that people are alcoholics.

But a very short amount of time admitting I’m an addict too. A food addict.

It started when I was in Junior High. It started out of depression and boredom. I liked the way it tasted, but I sure didn’t like the way it made me feel. I started to gain weight really young, and spent most of my life putting on more weight and more weight.

I haven’t been able to be emotionally available for anyone all these years. I’m completely self absorbed. These days I don’t believe I use food for the same reasons anymore, but that could just be my denial. I just know that I like eating but I get scared when I’m going to eat. I get the same questions rolling around in my head. Am I really hungry? What should I eat? What shouldn’t I eat? What else could I be doing? And the list goes on and on. I obsess over food.

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