March 3, 2009

“All things work together for good to them that love God.” – Romans
8:28

Sometimes it’s very hard to believe that God knows what He is doing.
We are told to stop trying to control everything, so we do. We “Let
Go” we “Turn It Over.” We pry our grip off people, places and
things. As much as we want to hang on, we force ourselves to let God
run the show. Then we wait and watch for the good things to start
happening.

Most of the time events continue to unfold as unevenly as they always
did. Accidents happen while setbacks, injustices and evil get
rewarded, and good goes begging. We feel that our letting go is
mocked, that God isn’t doing a better job than we did. Why isn’t He
performing?

But God could write straight with crooked lines. God’s timetable may
well not be the same as ours. What is asked is that we learn to
believe without seeing and to trust when it seems we could do so much
better.

“Today, I pray for the faith to go the distance. Like a child
leaping into a parent’s arms, I know that I am too precious to drop.”

Feb 23, 2009

“God has put something noble and good into every heart which His Hand created.”
-Mark Twain

When we were born, we were spiritually intact.  Tucked somewhere between a bald head and tiny toes was everything we needed to be a whole human being.  In the difficulty of growing up, this special part of us broke into two pieces.  We call them guilt and shame.  This is what we bring with us to adulthood.

But in our brokenness we berate and abuse ourselves unmercifully.

Imagine an antique doll, her hair in clumps, a chip in her nose, her gown in musty tatters.  Once perfect, now a relic found in an old trunk.  But look again.  All that she was is still there in the haunting stare of her eyes.  She is waiting to be lifted and made whole again.

I am reclaiming my wholeness and my spirituality.

Feb 18, 2009

“I got fed up with rewarding my illness.  It cost me too much.” – Marvin H.

To reward something indicates that we value it. The payoff represents our hope that the same thing will happen again.  Rewards are encouragements for repeat performances.

Unaware, we can very easily reward our own illness.  We do it by simply acting out our own destructive habits and patterns – by keeping them with us, by practicing them.  The more we act them out the less aware we become.

We reward illness when we feel afraid and then let that feeling halt our action.  When we allow our shame to get the upper hand by getting into unrealistic expectations, we reward illness.   When our low self-esteem nudges us into relationships that can only end in heartbreak, or when we allow unacceptable behavior to go unchallenged, we are rewarding illness.

We don’t need to pay the high cost of feeding the disease by repeating these self-defeating patterns. We’ve paid enough for defeat; it’s time to invest in success.

“Today, I will throw my energy into positive redirection.  Nothing I do today will cater to my illness.”

Nov 23, 2008

Recovery can be civil war, but it is a war that can be won.
-Sister Imelda

How often  do we hear people say “Sure I know it is the right thing to do — but its easier said than done!” But, “it”, whatever “it” is for each of us, is also easier done than not done. As hard as it is to turn our will and our behavior toward recovery, failing to recover is much harder. Ultimately, any price we pay for recovery is far less than the cost of giving up everything we’ve gained.

Some of us have a very difficult time making phone calls. Others are scared to death of speaking at meetings, talking to strangers, or admitting that we have feelings. But the alternative has simply been too painful. Whatever we have to do is worth it. The payoff is immense. How many of us, when we did attend that meeting that frighted us, felt an enormous surge of self confidence and happiness? How often, when we have stood our ground and found it did not kill us, have we felt that we could lick the world? The payoff is that we learn to like ourselves more and that is as good as it gets.

I will make sure today I am not forgetting the benefits of recovery and only considering the price of recovery.

Nov 12, 2008

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

-Mark Twain

We all strive to escape loneliness, especially if that sense of being isolated is more or less constant. Sometimes in response to that fear we become dependent on others; we generate nonstop movement or noise just so we don’t have to be alone.

Who are we running from?

There is enormous joy in discovering that when we’re alone we have ourselves as company. We come to like ourselves and discover the word “us” is sweet indeed. We’re not perfect or necessarily sweeter than anyone else, but we are just fine. We can learn to look forward to our thoughts and not run from them in fear. We can even learn to look gently into the mirror and find our best friend there. The more we come to understand that, the less we fear the quiet. In fact, there will come many times when we consciously seek quiet and aloneness. When we cease being afraid of ourselves, we find freedom from most of the fears of life.

I am growing more able to find peace and enjoyment in my own company.

Nov 11, 2008

All is well that ends well.
-John Heywood

It has been said, “in the game of life nothing is less important than the score at halftime.” Halftime means it is not over; the game is still in progress, and the outcome is still not decided.

It would be wonderful if all people started out with families steeped in relational skills and who knew how to listen, care, and encourage. Many, however, did not start out that way.

All of which simply means it is only halftime. The final score has not been posted. The quality of our lives is determined not by how we start but by how we shall choose to end. We can learn the skills necessary for a successful life whether we start with them or not. We can learn to care about ourselves and others, to stand firm in our relationships, and to choose wisely. Who we were was given; who we shall be is up to us.

I now see each new days as another chance for growth and happiness. From this day forward, I am in charge of the quality of my life.

Nov 10, 2008

A man of courage is also full of faith.
-Cicero

Faith and courage walk hand in hand. Courage empowers us to act in favor of what we believe, but cannot know. Courage is animated by the vision of faith. It doesn’t take any faith to perform an action that doesn’t require a risk. Only when theoutcome is uncertain, and the effort itself a feat of daring, must faith and courage come on the scene together to get the job done.

To reach out to another, if we have known frequent rejection, is to act courageously in spite of an uncertain outcome. To stand firm in a decision, if we have always given in and given up, is to back our faith in a most daring and courageous way.

Many recovering people, who never think of themselves as spiritual, are excellent models of faith because they continually reach out for what is not common in their lives. Because they believe, they’re willing and able to take the risk.

Today, I can do what I believe I can do.

Nov 9, 2008

Be suspicious of substitutes.
-Connie L.

When something important is missing in our lives, our natural tendency is to scramble around until we find something, anything in an attempt to fill the gap. We may use food, alcohol, money, sex — anything. That’s how addictions begin: we don’t know how to get what we need, so we reach for something else. What we are often reaching for in these “switched addictions” is love and acceptance. Addictions do not generate love but only the illusion of love.

Substitutes make us sick. Even if they’re not bad in themselves, we abuse them. We forget they’re alternatives and stopgaps rather than the real thing.

Sometimes we don’t know what our real needs are. And sometimes we do know, but we’re afraid to take the risk involved in meeting them. In either case, we will continue to be slaves to our addictions or substittions until we recognize them for what they are and learn to satisfy our needs in healthy ways.

Today, I will ask my Higher Power for insights about my real needs. I will check out my life for substitutes.

Nov 4, 2008

When you’ve said it the best you can, you’ve said it the best you can. Tim U

There’s only so much we can do to help other people, or a certain other person, understand us. Beyond that, our best efforts are wasted. Especially if the other person doesn’t want to understand. It is impossible to communicate with someone who cannot or will not communicate with us. The communication problem doesn’t always lie with us; it may lie with others who choose not to listen. We are responsible for communicating our thoughts and feelings as clearly as we can. But we are not responsbile for other person’s interpretation of our message. We’ve done our part when we’ve honestly said what we have to say. If the ot her person won’t accept it, or feels hurt, confused, or angry, we are not responsible. and se are not obliged to endlessly keep on trying to explain ourselves.

Other people’s refusal to hear is not our problem — its theirs. Sincere seekers of understanding will find it.

Today, I will not be frustrated by someone else’s unwillingness to communicate. I will accept what is.

Nov 2, 2008

Give a little love to a child and you get a great deal back.

-John Ruskin

Many of us are scared to death of the wounded child living within us. We’re afraid of remembering too much, afraid of the rage that will be stirred up. but in spite of all that learned fear, there is good reason to listen to what that precious part of us has to say.

Children, no matter how wounded, are naturally honest. Play is their main task in life. Wounder, imagination, trust and love are as much as a part of them as their fingers and toes. The very young haven’t had time yet to practice the deadly skill of deceit.

Our child is still there — within. That child still speaks messages of innocence and still waits to be heard and acknowledged. It is the child within, although it may be wounded, that waits to teach us and lead us along the road to recovery. Often the child leads the adult to wisdom.

as I become stronger, I am more willing and able than I used to be to spend time with my inner child.