How to get through what you’re going through by Iyanla Vanzant
While browsing random pictures posted by people I came across one that brought me to tears. (That doesn’t happen often). It’s probably famous but I’d never seen it before. It is of a (white) child, probably only 1 or 2 dressed in a KKK outfit. He/she is touching a piece of face-shield equipment by a (black) officer, looking like a riot is about to break out. It’s heartbreaking people teach children hatred so young.
Even though neither one of my parents purposely sat me down and taught me hatred, there was always an aura of disgust with people for hundreds of different reasons. I feel they essentially taught me hatred by disconnection, by choosing not to be part of anything. Not teaching me how to get along with others; quite the opposite. Bad behavior, by children standards were tolerated. (I would cuss at age 4 and it was evidently hilarious to them).
I learned how to resent people, how to avoid/hide, how to judge, how to criticize, how to bully, how to micromanage, and most of the time feel perfectly fine while doing it. (Since it’s always everyone else’s fault when something bad happens)
Being childlike isn’t tolerable, accepted and approved. I vividly remember playing and dancing as children do and being laughed at and judged harshly. Saying a word wrong and being laughed at. Being laughed at for asking questions. I was always mocked for being a child. So I grew up. Quick.
Sitting here today as an “adult”, one of my biggest regrets is letting myself getting bullied out of a childhood. All the times I tried to “be strong”, not cry and “suck it up” when my world was collapsing.
Nobody can turn back the clock to our childhood and ask mom and dad what the hell is wrong with you…. but at least today I know better. At least I am capable of being emotional today and not feel ashamed of crying.
